Bhakti Theology Song 1373
1373 You gave clear verdict
You gave a clear verdict
And showing the way you redeemed me
This is the life for me, you finalized
And you gave some kind of peace with in me
There is no place for an answerless question with you
You never refused to give some kinds of answer
Unless I have the maturity to accept whichever might be it
There is no answer with you
This remains your permanent answer
I also clearly understood it
But you also know well
The desire that I have within me
I only thought which one is good for me alone
But you thought which one is good for all
You also protected not my desire
To overcome your divine will in any way
As I live only worshipping you
I don’t have any right to go against your will
As long as you are there whichever might come
I never lived overcoming your will
If I come seeking some kind of solution
You will give only clear solution
When I accept and live accordingly
You will pour down your grace more and more
I get drenched again in that rain
Oh my Lord, again I am resurrected in my atman
I also overcame the world
As you resurrected to win
Gurukulam, 14-4-2022, 9.30 p.m.
I write the poems using pencil in old papers. Later I type it on
the computer. That time, recalling the background I wrote the comments for that
song. So this afternoon, unable to sleep due to lots of disturbance in
my mind, I got up and began to type the songs [1369] which I wrote on 15th.
When I was typing the comments, at the end, unable to control, I began to cry,
stopping typing. I leaned on the table with many tears as I completely lost both
physical and mental strength and said to the Lord, ‘why are you persecuting me
like this? Won’t you give a clear solution to my problem? I am
unable to make one clear decision. Considering the needs of me and my mother I
am not sure what to do? Unless you give a clear answer I cannot live with peace of mind. Then I
completely broke down and began to sob silently. Unable to type further I
closed the computer and sat calmly. But the melancholic mood continued. To avoid
it I got up and prepared Tiffin for my mother and had my coffee and sat in
front of TV to watch some classic music program. Then I saw my mother and she
too is not well. For the past one week, after my sister’s visit she has been
lamenting everyday thinking about going to Chennai. She told me several times
why I am torturing her by kicking her from one place to another. ‘You forced me
to come to the ashram. Though I never liked it and resisted my best, finally I
accepted your decision and now feel settled here. But now all of you are
joining together again troubling me. When I agree to stay here why do you want
to chase me from here’. She knows the answer. But she is not ready to accept it. Then
unable to sit she went to bed to lie down. Then I
closed the TV as I also lost any interest in watching any program on TV.
After this several things happened which I cannot share further.
Anyhow when I finally threw myself completely in the hands of God, some kind of
peace occupied my mind knowing well that ‘everything works only for good for
those who love the Lord’.
1373 தெளிவான தீர்வு தந்தாய்
தெளிவான தீர்வை நீ
தந்துவிட்டாய்
திசைகாட்டி
என்னையும் உய்த்துவிட்டாய்
இதுதான் வழ்வென
இறுதியிட்டாய்
என்னுள்ளே அமைதியை
நீ தந்துவிட்டாய்
விடையில்லா
கேள்விக்கு உன்னிடம் இடமில்லை
விடையொன்று தாராமல்
நீ இருந்ததில்லை
எதுவான போதும்
ஏற்றிடும் பக்குவம்
எனக்கு வாராமல்
உன்னிடம் தீர்வில்லை
இதுஉன் நிரந்தர
பதிலாக இருக்கு
எனக்கது நன்றாகப் புரித்துமே
இருக்கு
ஆனாலும் எனக்குள்ளே
இருந்திடும் விருப்பம்
அதுவும் உனக்குத்
தெரிந்துமே இருக்கு
எனக்கெது நல்லது என
நான் எண்ணினேன்
எல்லோர்க்கும் நன்மை
எதுவென எண்ணினாய்
என் சுயநலமும் எந்த
வழியிலும்
உன் சித்தம் மீறாமல்
நீயுமே காத்தாய்
உன்னையே பணிந்து
வாழ்ந்திடும் எனக்கு
உன்சித்தம் மீறிடும்
உரிமையும் இல்லை
எதுவந்த போதும்
நீயுள்ள வரையில்
உன்சித்தம் மீறி
நான் வாழ்ந்ததும் இல்லை
தீர்வொன்றை நாடி
உன்னிடம் வந்தால்
தெளிவான தீர்வை
நீயுமேத் தருவாய்
அதனை ஏற்று
வாழ்ந்திடும் போது
அருளை மேலும்
மழையெனப் பொழிவாய்
அந்த மழையிலே
மீண்டுமே நனைந்தேன்
ஐயனே ஆவியில்
உயிர்த்துமே எழுந்தேன்
உலகினை உய்க்க
உயிர்த்து எழுந்த
உன்னுடன் இணைந்து வென்றுவிட்டேன்
குருகுலம்,
14-4-2022, இரவு, 9.30
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